Hello 2010! You are coming while I am late. And yet, life starts to roll a new story. It is just a beginning of month, and why do you give me such hardships. Blame me or did other whispers came from another part of your body? Guess you are not worth any advise and I feel useless. Azam baru ek? just give me a space, thank you. I vowed in what all people need till I ignored or could be called "forgot" in all what I want. Flashback to the things I want, should I?
1) Peace
2) Study
3) Spend my life for enjoy.
4) Travel out of Brunei.
5) No issue on how I used to be, where I came from, when I learned to be like this and so whatever people think.
But all of those not coming, even though I have knocked it, several times and even waited till almost end of 2009 so I changed the plan to these:
1) Learn to bark - Noise annoyed me everyday! The sound, and voice especially. so i can't help but fight them back.
2) Strike the study - I can't afford this T_T. Think I am not gonna complete my degree forever.
3) Spend my life for enjoy - Yeah, people hate me when excitement comes in life, even for once.
4) Stuck in Hometown forever- Think that I am not going. It might be interesting journey in Brunei if I learn.
5) Be a fool - My feeling is not considered important to him, and to all. No notice sign labeled "I AM HURT, you know" so i can't blame you for not seeing how i feel so far.
And 2010 comes, wow! I feel so empty! I have found ' Love is not always better, cos Time Swings it to Bitter." Ego comes first, and smart comes last. but when it comes to conclusion, "Forget all ego, so forgive me"
All the bads will come through me, and when it comes to conclusion, you may say all these forgiving things which I ended up asking, "Do I feel more better then?" If I am the one who lead the life of me and you, who are going to lead the love that been tied for us? If I am THE ONLY ONE needed to be blame, how big are my mistakes then? I am tried to convince your feeling for not being a traitor of love.
Human must have a mistake. So do I. But people used to say, "ONCE you are a liar, you are ALWAYS a liar" For a beginning, I am amused but later it might happen to referring person who never learn to loyal to her/himself. Boys don't have to explain the shape of his heart inside. All girls need are just, the emotion while saying it, without asking for reward or reply. It isn't enough if I said I love you too, cos love doesn't count on it. It counts on your loyalty and sacrification. My loyalty? You don't even think I have one, do you? It is because trust never exist in your sacrification.
Well, well ... all I can express here is I hate things going on this lately. It, he and us made me sick. So enough! and luckily I am home earlier than ever. Give me time to clear off the dusty mind. ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND!
